he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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