I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
