We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
