whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
