Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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