pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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