I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
