I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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