dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
