Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Blood and glitter go together right?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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