i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
