Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No more Irish car bombs ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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