Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
