i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize