Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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