Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
