It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
time to smoke my breakfast
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
