theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
