So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
