We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
