WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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