i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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