Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
50% drunk capacity currently
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
