The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
