tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
