id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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