i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
