Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Say something about gay babies.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
