Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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