Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
