so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
