Taylor Swift is so right about you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
