my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize