Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
