he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
