Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
