I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
