do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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