Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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