ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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