D3 body, D1 cock
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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