I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
