Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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