i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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