at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize