you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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