Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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