my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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