Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
being pregnant is like rehab
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
