Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
