Dual....:-)
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
