I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
