Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
