we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
