Yo dont text me then not text me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
