How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
