she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
