that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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