Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
