im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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