She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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