my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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