I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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