I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
