sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
