Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
