I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize