ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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