He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
