i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
