Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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